Panadola Diction

I have no inclination today. Inclination to do what? Exactly.

Here are some of the things floating around on the millpond of my brain:

• Why are Queens of the Stone Age supporting Linkin Park?
• Why do people buy novelty or retro bicycles? For example, the orange ‘high-nelly’ ones that used to be sold in that pointless shop on George’s St, which is now a pharmacy I think. Or, those San Diego style ‘cruiser‘ bicycles, which have no proper brakes. These both cost more than your average bicycle, they offer no advanced functionality (in fact they commonly offer reduced functionality), they make you look like a pretentious ‘tard, and they make people like me aware that you have no common sense. I’m all for novelty and retro in general, but not with bicycles.
• I won the Spanish lottery for the 2nd time yesterday. This time, I won €785,120. I have to call the nice lottery man on the premium telephone number later.
• Why won’t Stinging Fly hurry up and send me a rejection letter in response to the story I sent them? I need closure. (I know, it’s not even been two weeks…. I have no patience.) 
• It’s work-drinks tomorrow night. We accidentally invited a government minister who’s email is similar to that of one of the chaps here, he can’t make it, shame. He did ask us (via his personal secretary) to let him know how it goes though, as he was amused by the twelve “reply to all” emails that followed the group-invite, written in pirate-speak.
• Prague on Saturday.
• I have purchased a day-ticket to the O2 Wireless Festival in Hyde Park, for July 4th. Morrissey, Beck, The National, Guillemots, Siouxsie Sioux, Dirty Pretty Things, New York Dolls and Lightspeed Champion will be on show. I’ve never seen Morrissey live, and haven’t seen Beck since Witnness 2000, so, yes, good.
• I am definitely not going to Oxegen this year.
• I hope they add some more quality to the Electric Picnic lineup. But I’ll go for the pies anyway.
• Shouldn’t deodorant actually be called ‘odorant’?
• Is eating a whole block of cheese in one sitting worse for you than eating the same amount of cheese over the course of a week?
• Robots can ride bicycles (see above).
• I’ll stop this now.

“Why won’t Stinging Fly hurry up and send me a rejection letter in response to the story I sent them? I need closure. (I know, it’s not even been two weeks…. I have no patience.) ”

Man, you really don’t have any patience at all…It’ll be two months at least! Don’t be counting on a rejection either…I’m just sayin’.

“Is eating a whole block of cheese in one sitting worse for you than eating the same amount of cheese over the course of a week?”

Yes.

you got tickets to the 02 wireless festival, i hope i didnt push you in to it, bit jelious now , you will have to let me know how it goes, oh and i won that damn lotto too, mmm cheese

Morrissey, The National and Siouxsie on the same day! Woof!

In answer to your questions:

“Shouldn’t deodorant actually be called ‘odorant’?”

No. The idea is that it stops your underarms from smelling like your body. Admittedly, a common part of this trickery is to cover it with some lethal dose of something that smells like Toilet Duck, which does odorise. Which is the cosmetics equivalent of trying to cover up for the excess of salt in your meal by adding a ton of chilli powder.

Aside of not understanding why anyone wants to smell of a Toilet Duck/sweat cocktail, I’ve yet to understand why smelling like a human being is a bad thing.

“Is eating a whole block of cheese in one sitting worse for you than eating the same amount of cheese over the course of a week?”

You know that bloke who ate a Citroen 2CV over the space of a year or two? How do you think he’d have felt if he’d done it in an evening?

Turns out Morrissey is on at the same time as The National, which is a shame, but I’m a bit Nationaled out at the moment anyway - I’d have been more honked off if Beck had have been headlining the 2nd stage.

Ah, deodorant. I remember when all the cool boys smelt like Africa. How did they smell a whole continent and reproduce it in a little can I wonder…

And no, I don’t know that bloke at all.